Human nature seems wired to express dissatisfaction rather than appreciation or gratitude. The default seems to be to complain rather than to appreciate and show gratitude.  But why is this the default, and how can we change it?

As I reflect on my life’s journey, I realise that I’ve spent far too much time focusing on the negatives—the people who let me down, the moments when I felt abandoned, or times when those I needed most weren’t there. We all know that feeling, don’t we? The sting of disappointment, the pain of being left behind. It’s easy to dwell on these moments and let them shape our outlook on life. But as I’ve grown, something has shifted within me—a realisation that, while I’ve had my share of challenges, I’ve also been surrounded by people who’ve shown up for me in ways both big and small.

It’s true that many people are quicker to notice and voice complaints than to express gratitude. This tendency might stem from a natural bias towards identifying problems as a way to solve them or protect ourselves. However, making a conscious effort to appreciate and show gratitude can significantly improve both personal well-being and relationships.

Practicing gratitude can start small:

• Pause to recognise the positives: Reflect on one good thing that happened each day.
• Express appreciation openly: Thank someone verbally or in writing.
• Shift perspective: Instead of focusing on what’s missing, think about what you have.

What steps would you like to take to incorporate more gratitude into your routine?

I vividly remember one such moment when I was only 17 and the weight of responsibility felt unbearable. My brilliant sibling was facing a significant setback in the exams. Despite hard work, my sibling hadn’t achieved the results we all hoped for. At that moment, with our father gone much too early and no one else to turn to, I was left to carry the weight of being the big brother—the mentor, the guide, the support system—even though I felt lost and unsure of how to help my sibling navigate this crushing disappointment. The future felt hopeless.

But then, a friend stepped into our lives, someone who understood our pain and the weight we carried. This friend offered us a simple yet powerful reminder: Focus on what’s going well, not just on what’s gone wrong. That one shift in perspective changed everything. It didn’t erase the challenges we faced, but it gave us the strength to move forward, to look beyond the setbacks and see the blessings, the wins, and the good things we often overlook. It’s a lesson I carry with me every day: In the toughest of times, gratitude is a choice.

Over the past few years, as I’ve read about the Gratitude Journal and explored the work of Chester Elton, amongst many others, I’ve come to realise the profound impact of focusing on gratitude—not just in moments of hardship, but every day. Gratitude is a gift we give ourselves. It’s about acknowledging those who’ve shown up for us, the quiet heroes who’ve been there when we needed them most, even when life felt difficult and impossible.

Chester Elton’s gratitude rituals—like walking and journaling—bring him peace. Robin Sharma’s 20:20:20 ritual—Move, Read, Reflect—is his way of staying centred. For me, my gratitude practice is simple: walk, read, reflect, pray and appreciate. And often, that small shift turns an ordinary day into something extraordinary. Gratitude Practices help shift focus to the positive. Mindfulness and Reflection help calm overactive threat responses.

I found the Gratitude Habit Journal a useful daily ritual in my life. Over the last few months, every morning and night, I ask myself the same simple question: What am I grateful for today? This practice has opened my eyes to the small blessings—those moments of kindness, support, and love that so often go unnoticed in the busyness of life. No matter how chaotic the day may have been, taking just a moment to reflect on three things I’m grateful for that day has brought peace, clarity, and a renewed sense of hope.

Gratitude isn’t just about counting our blessings—it’s about expressing them. Silent gratitude holds no power. It’s in the act of sharing our appreciation that it becomes truly transformative. And I believe it’s these small moments of gratitude that can change everything. They help us shift from focusing on what’s wrong to recognising what’s right, from dwelling on the pain to celebrating the good. This transformative power of gratitude inspires hope and positivity in our lives.

I encourage you to consider your own gratitude rituals. What do you do each day to focus on the good, to express appreciation for those who’ve supported you? Take a moment to reflect on this question. I truly believe that when we make gratitude a part of our daily lives, it changes our perspective, our relationships, and our overall sense of peace. The introspective reflection can help you understand the power of gratitude in your life.

As we move toward 2025, I want to make a commitment to you. Every week, I’ll share an “Echo of Gratitude”—remembering one person who has made a profound difference in my life. It’s my way of honouring the kindness and love I’ve received and giving back some of the positivity that has been shown to me. It’s a way of spreading kindness, one small gesture at a time. I invite you to be part of this journey and share your echoes of gratitude. Because, in the end, it’s the little things—the people, the moments, the quiet acts of grace—that make all the difference. And I believe that sharing our gratitude creates a ripple effect of love and connection that can change the world.

Have a great New Year.

Palan